How to be more vulnerable: 5 ways to practice being vulnerable
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Explore the meaning of, and common fears around, being vulnerable. Plus, examples of how to practice and respond to vulnerability in different relationships.
Being vulnerable is sometimes seen as a sign of weakness, but it can actually be a courageous act of showing your true self. Emotional exposure can bring risks, such as the fear of judgment or rejection, but when practiced with greater self-awareness, you can also connect with others on a deeper level and enhance personal growth.
What does it mean to be vulnerable?
Vulnerability happens when you’re honest and transparent with your feelings, thoughts, and experiences by sharing personal stories, or admitting mistakes, and this emotional exposure can come with a degree of uncertainty. That’s because being vulnerable invites others to see you as you truly are. This can lead to building trust, bringing deeper, more meaningful relationships, and encouraging others to be open in return.
It can also open you up to the possibility of being hurt, rejected, embarrassed, or misunderstood as vulnerability involves sharing parts of yourself that you usually keep hidden, such as fears, desires, and challenges, so it can feel like it brings an emotional risk.
But, being vulnerable can bring personal growth, allowing you to confront your fears and insecurities, learn from your experiences, develop resilience, and grow stronger emotionally.
5 benefits of being vulnerable
Achieving greater strength: Confronting fears and uncertainties can lead to increased resilience and a stronger sense of self.
Nurturing stronger relationships: Promoting trust and openness for deep, authentic connections
Improving self-acceptance: A better understanding of yourself, enhancing self-esteem, and wellbeing
Encouraging emotional growth: Processing and expressing emotions more effectively can contribute to emotional maturity.
Promoting authenticity: Being your authentic, true self can improve your interactions and relationships.
Examples of being vulnerable
Sharing personal details that you normally keep private. This might include talking about your background, struggles, or aspirations.
Allowing yourself to feel and express difficult emotions, such as shame, grief, or fear, can lead to greater emotional health.
Reconnecting with someone you've fallen out with requires putting aside your pride and risking rejection in the hope of mending a valuable relationship.
Being honest about your needs in a relationship involves expressing what you need from your partner or friend, which is essential for building a fulfilling relationship.
4 types of vulnerability
It’s possible to be vulnerable in different areas of life, and each can impact your personal growth and interpersonal connections to promote a supportive environment.
In close relationships
In relationships, vulnerability can build intimacy and trust. When partners share their fears, hopes, and dreams, they can create a foundation of understanding and empathy. This openness can allow for deeper emotional connections and a stronger bond.
At work
In the workplace, vulnerability can transform professional relationships and team dynamics. Admitting mistakes, asking for help, and sharing challenges can promote a culture of collaboration, support, constructive feedback, and continuous improvement.
With yourself
Acknowledging personal limitations, fears, and areas for growth can bring a self-awareness that can lead to personal development. When you understand your needs, set realistic goals, and accept your emotional responses to stress, you can find effective coping strategies.
In your community
When you share your stories and challenges, it can create connections, reduce feelings of isolation, and build a strong, supportive network. Community vulnerability can lead to collective action, shared resilience, and a stronger sense of communal identity.
How to be more vulnerable: 5 ways to practice vulnerability
Being vulnerable can be developed through daily actions and reflections. This can lead to more authentic relationships, improved self-awareness, and greater connection with those around you.
1. Express your feelings: Acknowledge and express your emotions to others. This encourages honesty and can lead to deeper connections with others.
2. Ask for help: Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It shows that you’re aware of your limitations and open to relying on others to strengthen relationships and build mutual support.
3. Share personal stories: Tell others about experiences that have shaped or challenged you to inspire others to open up, creating an exchange of trust and intimacy.
4. Give and receive feedback: Offer constructive feedback to others and be open to receiving feedback without defensiveness. This can lead to personal and professional growth and shows a willingness to improve and adapt.
5. Practice empathy: Be receptive to others' vulnerabilities. Show empathy and understanding when others share feelings with you to enhance trust and deepen the connection.
How to respond to vulnerability: 6 ways to support others
Handling someone's vulnerability with care can help build trust and encourage open communication. Creating a safe space for others to be vulnerable can help strengthen your relationships and grow mutual trust and support.
1. Active listening: When someone shares something personal, listen attentively without interrupting. Make eye contact, nod, and use verbal affirmations to show you’re engaged and interested in understanding their perspective.
2. Validation: Acknowledge the other person's feelings and experiences without judgment. Try saying, "I understand why you feel that way," or "Your feelings are completely valid." This reassures the person that their emotions are respected.
3. Empathy: Use phrases like, "That sounds really challenging," or, "I can imagine how tough that must be for you." Empathy can help build a deeper emotional connection and show that you care about the person's well-being.
4. Maintain confidentiality: If someone confides in you, keep their experiences confidential unless they give you permission to share or there's an immediate safety concern. Respecting privacy builds trust and shows you’re reliable.
5. Offer support: Sometimes people just need to be heard, while other times they might seek advice or practical help. Ask how you can help to allow the person to feel supported in the way they need most.
6. Avoid trying to fix it: When someone is vulnerable, they might not be looking for solutions. Avoid offering quick fixes or dismissing their feelings. Instead, focus on understanding and supporting them through their experience.
How to overcome the fear of vulnerability
Despites all of the benefits, so many of us are afraid to be vulnerable. By adopting these strategies, you can address the fears associated with vulnerability and work toward a more authentic and connected life.
1. Acknowledge your fears
Identify what scares you about being vulnerable. Is it fear of rejection, judgment, or something else? Recognizing your fears is the first step in addressing them.
💙 Get to know the fears holding you back from vulnerability during this Investigate Your Fear session of the Daily Jay.
2. Start small
Begin with small acts of vulnerability in situations where the stakes are low. Try sharing a personal story with a close friend or expressing an unpopular opinion in a supportive environment. Gradual exposure can help build your confidence.
3. Develop self-compassion
Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a good friend. When you're harsh toward yourself, it's harder to be vulnerable with others.
💙 Learn about The Strength of Self-Compassion during this session of the Daily Trip.
4. Challenge negative beliefs
Identify and challenge negative beliefs about vulnerability. For example, if you believe vulnerability is a sign of weakness, remind yourself of times when being open led to positive outcomes.
💙 Learn how to Challenge Your Negative Thoughts around vulnerability during this session from the Overcome Stress and Anxiety series.
5. Seek supportive relationships
Surround yourself with understanding, supportive people. Being vulnerable becomes easier when you're in a safe and accepting environment.
💙 Vulnerability in relationships also includes being vulnerable with yourself. Learn the importance of vulnerability with this session from our Relationship with Self series.
6. Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness can help you stay connected with your emotions and reduce the fear associated with being vulnerable. When you're more aware of your feelings without judgment, you can approach vulnerability with a clearer perspective.
💙 Learn the basics of mindfulness meditation during the 7 Days of Calm series.
7. Build emotional literacy
Work on identifying and expressing your emotions. Understanding what you feel and why can make it less intimidating to share those feelings with others.
💙 Take some time to stop and do this short Emotions Check In during the day to stay connected to how you’re feeling.
8. Reflect on past experiences
Reflect on past instances where being vulnerable led to positive outcomes. This can help reinforce the idea that vulnerability can lead to growth and stronger connections.
💙 Explore The Power of Reflection to help you get more out of what you’re taking in during this Daily Jay session.
9. Set boundaries
You don't have to open up to everyone. Choose when and with whom to be vulnerable.
💙 If you need inspiration on how to set boundaries, listen to A Secret to Better Boundaries.
10. Celebrate small wins
Acknowledge and celebrate when you successfully show vulnerability. Taking this time can motivate you to keep going.
Being vulnerable FAQs
Is it healthy to be vulnerable?
Being vulnerable is generally considered healthy. It allows people to express their true selves, bringing authenticity and deepening connections with others. Vulnerability can lead to increased self-awareness, emotional healing, and stronger, more genuine relationships. While it may feel uncomfortable or risky, being vulnerable can contribute to emotional growth and resilience.
What is the psychology of being vulnerable?
The psychology of being vulnerable centers around the willingness to open up and show your true self. This might include feelings, thoughts, and desires that could risk criticism, rejection, or hurt. From a psychological perspective, vulnerability is important for building trust and forming deep, meaningful relationships. It can also help build personal growth, as confronting and sharing vulnerabilities can lead to greater self-understanding and emotional healing.
Is being vulnerable attractive?
Many people find vulnerability attractive because it signifies honesty, authenticity, and trustworthiness. When someone’s vulnerable, they’re showing their true self, which can create a sense of closeness in relationships. This openness can make people more relatable and approachable, helping to grow a deeper connection and attraction in friendships and romantic relationships.
Why do men struggle with vulnerability?
Men sometimes struggle with vulnerability because societal expectations and norms often value strength, independence, and self-reliance over emotional expression. Many men are socialized to suppress their emotions rather than show them, as it’s traditionally been seen as a sign of weakness. This can make men less likely to open up and be vulnerable. Overcoming these ingrained beliefs and societal pressures can be challenging, but it is important for emotional wellbeing and building meaningful relationships.
Why is being vulnerable so hard?
Being vulnerable can be challenging because it involves exposing yourself to potential judgment, rejection, or hurt. It requires a level of openness and honesty that can feel risky or uncomfortable, especially if you’ve experienced betrayal or criticism in the past. The fear of showing your true self and not being accepted can be a barrier to vulnerability. However, with practice and supportive relationships, you can learn to embrace vulnerability as a strength.
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