How to make & keep friends as an adult: 10 ways to connect
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Learn how to make, and keep, friends as an adult and the importance of these connections. Plus, 10 places where you can meet new people and build friendships.
Friendships are important at every age. After all, the companionship and support that friends provide can significantly impact our mental and emotional wellbeing. But for many of us, making friends as an adult is challenging. Luckily, understanding how to build new connections can help us make and maintain friendships throughout our adult lives.
The importance of adult friendships
Adult friendships are a crucial part of a happy and healthy life. There are several benefits to maintaining friendships in adulthood, as well as making new friends, too.
Studies have shown that having a strong social network can actually increase your lifespan.
Sharing your troubles with friends can help lighten your emotional load and provide a sense of relief.
Positive social interactions and support can help reduce blood pressure and heart rate, which are crucial factors in maintaining a healthy heart.
Friendships can play a role in preventing mental health issues like depression and anxiety by providing a sense of belonging and self-worth.
Conversations and activities with friends can stimulate your brain, helping to ward off cognitive decline as you age.
10 best places to meet new friends
A great way to approach meeting new friends as an adult is to focus on the places you’re spending your time, and to find environments where potential friendships can flourish.
1. Gyms and fitness classes: Whether it’s a yoga class, a cycling group, or a local hiking club, health and wellbeing activities can lead to natural conversations and camaraderie.
2. Meet-up groups and friendship apps: Platforms dedicated to meet-ups or friendship apps can help you find local groups or events based on your interests, from book clubs to tech meetups, cooking classes, or photography.
3. Community classes: Whether you’re looking to learn a new language, pick up a paintbrush, or dive into pottery, shared learning experiences can quickly turn classmates into friends.
4. Work: Consider joining work-related groups, attending social events, or simply striking up conversations with colleagues in communal areas. This can lead to friendships both inside and outside the workplace.
5. Volunteering: Giving back to your community by volunteering for causes or organizations that matter to you can connect you with others who share your values.
6. Parenting groups: If you have children, parenting groups or school-related activities can provide a common ground and an immediate topic of conversation, making it easier to form new connections.
7. Book clubs and interest groups: These groups can offer a sense of community and an easy way to engage in discussions. They provide a structured setting for interaction, making it easier to get to know others.
8. Local events and festivals: These gatherings are not only fun but also a great opportunity to meet people who share your interests in music, art, culture, or food.
9. Places of worship: If you’re religious or spiritual, places of worship can be comforting environments to meet others who share your beliefs and values. Many offer group activities or social events beyond regular services.
10. Coffee shops and co-working spaces: These spaces offer a casual atmosphere for striking up conversations. Whether you’re working on your laptop or enjoying a coffee, it’s easy to find opportunities to chat with others.
Why making friends as an adult is so hard
As we grow up, the way we develop our relationships evolves and making new connections can feel like a challenge. It’s common to feel that making friends was so much easier when you had fewer responsibilities. But by understanding these challenges better we can start to find ways around them. Sometimes, it just takes one small gesture to start building a new friendship.
We have less free time to socialize
When you're an adult, your schedule fills up fast. Between work, family, and other responsibilities, there's not always time left for meeting people or spending time with new friends.
We have more responsibilities and less energy
This doesn't just mean more work — it includes taking care of our homes, paying bills, and maybe raising a family. All these responsibilities can make us feel tired and leave little energy for making new friends.
We feel shy or nervous about meeting new people
As adults, it can feel like everyone else already has their group of friends and isn't looking to make new ones. This feeling can stop us from reaching out and making the first move.
We're more set in our ways
This can make us less likely to try new things, where we might meet new friends, especially if we want to meet people who share our existing, specific interests.
How to maintain adult friendships: 6 tips
Adult friendships can add so much into our lives, from companionship to ongoing support and a deep sense of belonging. But maintaining adult friendships may require a bit more effort and intentionality than when we were younger.
1. Invest time to keep the bond strong
Make it a point to regularly check in with your friends, whether it's through a quick text, a phone call, or planning in-person meetups. Scheduling regular catch-ups, even if they're just virtual coffee dates, can keep the friendship active and thriving.
2. Be fully present when you’re together
This means putting away distractions like your phone and focusing on the here and now. Listening attentively and engaging in the conversation shows your friend that you value and appreciate their company.
3. Embrace change and offer support
This can include moves, job changes, new family dynamics, and evolving interests. Being supportive and adaptable to these changes in your friends' lives helps to maintain the friendship through the inevitable ups and downs.
4. Communicate openly and honestly
Feel free to share your thoughts and feelings, and encourage your friends to do the same. Address misunderstandings or conflicts directly and kindly to prevent small issues from turning into bigger problems.
5. Show them that they’re important to you
This could be through a thoughtful message, a small gesture, or simply saying thank you for their friendship. Appreciating their importance in your life can strengthen your bond.
6. Be there in times of need and in times of joy
Be there for your friends when they need you, whether they're going through a rough patch, facing a challenge, or celebrating a milestone. Showing up for them solidifies your friendship.
How to make friends as an adult: 10 tips to build new connections
It’s entirely normal to feel uncertain about where to start forging new connections. These tips can support you in building and expanding your circle of friends as an adult.
1. Connect through mutual friends
Tap into the networks you already have and ask your friends to introduce you to their friends. This can lead to new connections in a comfortable and familiar setting.
💙 Meaningful Practice for Meaningful Friendship are guided meditations that can teach you to be there for the people you love, no matter what.
2. Seek like-minded people through shared interests
Whether it's joining a book club, a hiking group, or a cooking class, shared activities can make for a natural and easy foundation for friendship.
💙 Check out The Power of Hobbies episode of The Spark for inspiration to further explore what interests you.
3. Step out of your comfort zone and initiate conversations
Say hi to a stranger, compliment someone's personal style, or ask that person in the coffee shop what they're reading or working on. A simple hello or compliment can be a great way to open the door for further conversation. Plus, the person you say hello to may be just as eager to make a new friend
💙 Open Listening is a meditation to help you pay closer attention to the people and things around you.
4. Show your genuine interest in what others say
Ask questions, listen actively, and engage with other people’s stories. This can make the person you’re speaking to feel valued and more open to a budding friendship.
💙 Tamara Levitt explores the art of listening in this installment of the Daily Calm.
5. Allow others to get to know you better
While it's important to listen, sharing your own stories and interests can help others get to know you better. Openness is a first step toward trust, which is a key building block of any friendship.
💙 Learn to nurture your relationships by listening to the Mindful Friendships session of the Daily Jay.
6. Stay open to trying new things
Not only does stepping outside your comfort zone increase your chances of meeting new people, but it also adds to your own experiences and the topics you can discuss.
💙 Learn to edge past your boundaries with the Comfort Zone session of the Daily Jay.
7. Be vulnerable (when you’re ready)
Vulnerability can strengthen connections. Sharing your thoughts and feelings can invite others to open up and deepen friendships.
💙 Olympian Jason Rogers opened up about his struggle with being open in relationships during this On Vulnerability session of The Spark.
8. Make an effort to make plans
Friendships require effort from both sides. Follow up after meeting someone and suggest plans to hang out or spend time together again, and try to check in periodically to show that you're interested in maintaining the friendship.
9. Say yes to invitations
Whenever you're invited to social gatherings, try your best to attend. Each event is an opportunity to meet new people and nurture existing friendships.
💙 Tara Brach digs into the power of trying new things in her Say Yes to Life meditation.
10. Embrace online platforms
Don't overlook the potential of online platforms and friendship apps to meet new people, especially if you're in a new city or your hobbies are niche. These platforms can provide a space to connect with others who share your interests.
How to make friends as an adult FAQs
How do adults realistically make friends?
Making friends as an adult is about creating opportunities for connection and being open to new experiences.
Engage in activities you enjoy: Join clubs or groups that align with your interests. This could be anything from a book club to a local sports team. Shared interests make for easy conversation starters and can lead to friendships with like-minded individuals.
Leverage your current networks: Don't overlook the potential of acquaintances becoming closer friends. This includes coworkers, neighbors, or parents of your children's friends. Sometimes, expressing interest in spending time outside of your usual context can spark a friendship.
Be open to finding friendships digitally: Online platforms and apps designed for making friends can be incredibly useful, especially if you're in a new city or have niche interests. These platforms allow you to connect with people who are also looking to make new friends.
Make connections as a volunteer: Volunteering may connect you with others who share your values and commitment to giving back. These shared experiences can create strong bonds.
How do introverts make friends as adults?
Introverts can make friends by focusing on quality over quantity. Seeking out environments that feel comfortable and conducive to deeper conversations is also important.
Focus on small groups or one-on-one: Large social gatherings can be overwhelming for introverts. Instead, look for opportunities to interact in smaller groups or one-on-one settings where deep, meaningful conversations are more likely.
Use online platforms: Introverts may find it easier to initiate conversations and make connections online before meeting in person. Online communities and forums that cater to specific interests can be a great starting point.
Pursue your interests: Engaging in hobbies or classes that interest you can lead to meeting people with similar passions. This natural common ground can make initiating conversations and building friendships easier for introverts.
Be open about your introversion: Sometimes, just letting others know that you're an introvert can help. True friends will understand and appreciate your need for alone time and deeper connections.
Can adults still make friends?
Absolutely! People can make new friends throughout their lives. While it may require more effort than making friends in childhood, adult friendships can be deeper and more meaningful. Be proactive in social situations, show genuine interest in others, and put yourself in environments where you can meet potential friends.
How do I make friends after 25?
Making and maintaining friendships as an adult is about quality connections, shared experiences, and mutual support. A great starting point is to put yourself in situations where you can meet new people.
Professional networking events: These can be great places to meet people with similar career interests, and these professional relationships can sometimes evolve into friendships.
Alumni associations: Connecting with your alma mater's alumni association can lead to meeting people with shared experiences and backgrounds.
Community events and classes: Whether it's a cooking class, a photography workshop, or a local community event, these settings offer opportunities to meet people with similar interests in a more relaxed environment.
Be a friend to make a friend: Showing kindness, being a good listener, and offering support to others can attract people to you and help build lasting friendships.
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