10 mindful tips for when you feel lonely
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA
Wondering what to do when you feel lonely? Learn 10 mindful tips to help ease your feelings of loneliness. Plus, a guided meditation for loneliness.
Everyone feels lonely at one point or another. Whether it stems from being physically alone or feeling disconnected from those around us, loneliness can deeply affect our mental and emotional wellbeing. Fortunately, mindfulness and meditation are great tools that can help us understand and alleviate loneliness.
What’s the deal with loneliness?
Loneliness arises when there’s a gap between the social connections we have and those we desire. It can happen to anyone, and occurs even when we’re surrounded by people. Feeling misunderstood, disconnected, or out of place can also contribute to feelings of loneliness.
Research indicates that chronic loneliness can affect our physical health and wellbeing. It's linked to increased stress, weakened immunity, and higher blood pressure. Feelings of loneliness can also affect our mental health leading to depression, anxiety, and decreased memory and learning.
Feelings of loneliness indicate that we need more social connection. And while feeling lonely is a shared human experience, it's also deeply personal. By acknowledging loneliness, we can begin to approach it with kindness and seek out meaningful connections.
How mindfulness can ease loneliness
Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment with an attitude of openness, curiosity, and non-judgment. It involves noticing our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and the surrounding environment without trying to change them. This practice can be particularly beneficial for loneliness, as it encourages a different way of relating to our inner and outer experiences.
The role of awareness
By becoming more aware of our thoughts and feelings, we can recognize when we feel lonely and understand that it’s a temporary emotional state, not a permanent part of our identity. Accepting this can make loneliness feel more manageable.
Acceptance and compassion
Mindfulness can teach us to face what we’re experiencing without trying to push it away or change it. When we accept feelings of loneliness, we allow ourselves to feel them fully without criticism or resistance, which can reduce the pain.
Connecting with the present
It’s common for people who are feeling lonely to dwell on past relationships or worry about ones they may or may not have in the future. Mindfulness can bring us back to the present and help us find contentment in our current environment. This might mean appreciating the warmth of the sun, the taste of food, or the beauty of our surroundings.
Building inner resources
Regular mindfulness practice can strengthen our resilience, patience, and self-compassion. These can empower us to approach our feelings of loneliness with kindness and courage, rather than fear or despair.
Mindfulness in action
Practicing mindfulness can be as simple as taking a few minutes each day to breathe deeply and observe our thoughts and feelings without judgment. It can also involve more structured practices like mindfulness meditation. In this practice, we sit quietly and focus on our breath or a particular object, returning our attention gently each time it wanders.
Guided meditation for loneliness
Meditation can help you find peace and connection within yourself when you experience loneliness. At first, it may be hard to encounter the parts of yourself that you’ve been trying to avoid, but with time you can learn to embrace them, and grow more fully into yourself.
Find a quiet place and a comfortable position
Sit or lie down in a position that feels relaxed, in a spot where you won’t be disturbed. You might choose to sit on a chair with your feet flat on the ground, on a cushion with your legs crossed, or lie on a flat surface. Ensure your spine is straight to promote proper breathing.
Begin with deep breaths
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to signal to your body that it’s time to relax. Inhale slowly through your nose, allowing your chest and belly to rise, and then exhale gently through your mouth or nose. Repeat this several times, focusing on the sensation of the breath entering and leaving your body.
Acknowledge your feelings of loneliness
Turn your attention to any feelings of loneliness you’re experiencing. Recognize them without trying to change or judge them. Simply observe these emotions with kindness and curiosity.
Practice compassionate self-talk
While you sit with your lonely feelings, you may try repeating phrases that resonate with you and offer comfort. You could say things like, “It’s okay to feel lonely,” “I am worthy of love and connection,” or “I am not alone in feeling lonely” to help deepen your acceptance.
Visualize connecting with others
Imagine a warm, gentle light in your heart that represents love and connection. With each breath, visualize this light expanding, reaching out to connect with others who may also be feeling lonely. This visualization can promote a sense of empathy.
Offer loving-kindness to yourself and others
Still focusing on the light in your heart, silently repeat phrases of loving-kindness toward yourself and then toward others. Start by saying, “May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be free from suffering.” Then, extend these wishes outwards with the light, saying, “May all beings be happy, may all beings be healthy, may all beings be free from suffering.”
Gently conclude your meditation
Bring your attention back to your breath and then to your physical surroundings. Slowly open your eyes, taking a moment to notice how you feel. It’s okay if your feelings of loneliness don’t disappear immediately: The goal is to create a space of acceptance and compassion within yourself.
Practice regularly
Incorporate this meditation into your daily routine, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. Regular practice can deepen your sense of inner peace and connection.
What to do when you feel lonely: 10 tips
There are many ways to help reduce the discomfort of loneliness and create opportunities for connection. By taking small, mindful steps, you can begin to ease feelings of loneliness and build a sense of belonging within yourself and your community.
1. Let go of unhelpful stories
Deep down, we're afraid that being lonely means we’re unloveable or that we’ll be alone forever. And if we give these thoughts our constant attention, they can grow. It’s important to interrupt these false perceptions and focus on something else.
When you notice yourself ruminating on unhelpful ideas, pause and be present with your surroundings to ground yourself.
💙 Discover how to Shift Your Self-Talk and rewire your brain to focus on the positive with guidance from Jay Shetty.
2. Share how you’re really feeling
When a friend asks how you are, tell the truth. Try saying something like, “Yesterday was difficult. I felt really lonely,” or, “I’m so glad you called. It’s good to hear your voice.” Being vulnerable can help us find true connection.
💙 Explore how to boost your confidence and power by practicing Vulnerability.
3. Spend time on activities you enjoy
Activities that bring you joy can distract you from feelings of loneliness and may even offer opportunities to meet others with similar interests.
4. Volunteer your time
Engaging in volunteer work can help you feel a sense of belonging and purpose, make a difference in your community, and build new relationships. Volunteering can also alleviate feelings of isolation.
5. Practice self-compassion
Treat yourself with the kindness and understanding you’d offer a friend. Avoid negative self-talk, and acknowledge your feelings without criticism. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel lonely at times.
💙 Take the first step on a Path of Self-Compassion with support from Jay Shetty.
6. Explore new social settings
Join clubs, groups, or classes that align with your hobbies to meet people and form new connections. Feeling at home within a community can help reduce feelings of isolation.
7. Be brave and reach out to people in similar situations
Our lives are forever changing. If the people who once kept you company no longer have the time to hang out, the feeling of loss and grief can be overwhelming. Give yourself compassion. At the same time, open yourself to new relationships, especially with people who have similar schedules and interests. Maybe there are friends of friends in the same situation as you. If so, ask to be introduced. Try an app to search for a date, a friend, or even a business mentor. If you’re looking for mindful company, check out our Daily Calm Community Facebook group.
💙 Use meditation to cultivate stronger friendships with our Meaningful Practice for Meaningful Friendship series.
8. Set realistic social goals
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, start small. Aim to strike up a conversation with a colleague or attend one social event per month. Gradually increase your social interactions to make the process feel more manageable.
💙 Take a moment to reflect on The ‘Why” Behind Your Goals you’re setting to combat loneliness.
9. Befriend yourself
Learn to love your own company. Stop paying attention to your inner critic and start listening to the quieter, positive voices within. Find what nourishes and inspires you, like making yourself a special dinner or taking yourself on a beautiful walk.
💙 Learn about the art of self-compassion from Jeff Warren’s (Self) Love Bomb session.
10. Seek professional support
If loneliness is significantly impacting your quality of life, seek guidance from a mental health professional. Therapy can offer a safe space to explore your feelings of loneliness and help develop strategies to address them.
Meditation for loneliness FAQs
Can meditation help with loneliness?
Meditation can be a valuable tool in managing feelings of loneliness. It can bring a sense of inner peace, increase self-awareness, and promote acceptance of our current emotional state. Through practices like mindfulness meditation, loving-kindness meditation, and guided visualizations, you can cultivate a deeper connection to yourself and feel a sense of belonging in the world. Regular meditation practice can shift your perspective on loneliness, highlighting the interconnectedness of all beings and reducing feelings of isolation.
How do I stop feeling so lonely?
There are lots of ways you can reduce feelings of loneliness. A few include:
Connect with others: Reach out to family, friends, or your community to seek deeper connections.
Engage in activities: Enjoy favorite activities or try new hobbies to help find new friendships and reduce feelings of loneliness.
Volunteer: Offer your time to good causes to connect with others and feel a sense of purpose.
Practice self-care: Exercise, maintain a healthy diet, and get enough sleep to improve your mood and reduce feelings of loneliness.
Seek professional help: If loneliness feels overwhelming, talk to a counselor or therapist for support and strategies to cope.
How do I accept being alone?
Accepting being alone involves shifting your perspective to see solitude as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery, rather than a state of loneliness.
Embrace solitude: Use time alone for self-reflection, pursuing personal interests, and developing self-reliance.
Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness meditation can help you stay present and find peace in the moment, reducing feelings of loneliness.
Cultivate self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, acknowledging that it's okay to feel lonely sometimes.
Set personal goals: Use alone time to work toward personal goals, whether they're related to your career, hobbies, or personal development.
Who can I talk to if I'm lonely?
If you're experiencing feelings of loneliness, it’s important to seek connection, practice self-compassion, and find support. You're not alone in feeling lonely, and there are resources and strategies available to help.
Friends and family: Reach out to loved ones for comfort and a sense of connection.
Community groups: Join clubs, groups, or online forums related to your interests to help you meet like-minded people.
Professional help: Therapists or counselors can offer professional support and strategies to manage loneliness.
Support lines: Helplines can provide someone to talk to.
Online communities: Access online communities and forums where you can share your feelings and connect with others who might be experiencing similar emotions.
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