Postpartum OCD can be overwhelming. Here’s how to cope
Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, MBA
Struggling with scary thoughts after giving birth? This could possibly be a sign of postpartum OCD. Explore the causes and seven tips to help you (or someone you know) cope.
Having a baby changes everything. In the blink of an eye (or, really, after 40 long weeks pregnancy and several hours of labor), your focus shifts entirely from yourself to this tiny new person who depends on you for everything.
And while yes, the early days of parenthood can be beautiful, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed at times too. Between the sleep deprivation, the physical discomfort of recovery, and the nagging worry that you’re doing everything wrong, it’s no wonder that new parents are constantly on edge.
But what happens when your concerns turn into something darker? You know what we mean. Have you ever had a disturbing thought pop into your head, like, “What if I drop the baby?” Maybe you’ve even caught yourself wondering, “What if I lose control and accidentally hurt them?”
It’s important for you to know that you’re not alone in this, and there’s nothing wrong with you. Honestly, it’s proof that you deeply love your baby and care about their wellbeing.
A lot of people have intrusive thoughts, and sometimes, they can be a symptom of a condition called postpartum obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). In this guide, we’ll break down what postpartum OCD is, what causes it, and most importantly, how to manage it so you can get back to feeling more like yourself.
What is postpartum OCD?
Postpartum OCD is a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder that emerges after childbirth. It’s characterized by intrusive, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors (compulsions) that are meant to reduce anxiety (but often don’t). Unlike general postpartum anxiety or depression, postpartum OCD often involves disturbing thoughts about harming your baby — even though you would never do that.
Key things to know:
Having intrusive thoughts does not mean you will act on them.
Most parents with postpartum OCD are horrified by their intrusive thoughts, which is a sign they would never actually harm their baby.
Postpartum OCD is often misunderstood or confused with postpartum psychosis, a much rarer and more severe condition in which a person loses touch with reality.
6 symptoms of postpartum OCD
So how do you know if what you’re experiencing is postpartum OCD and not just “normal” new-parent anxiety? The line can feel blurry, especially when you’re running on no sleep and your emotions are already all over the place. Still, postpartum OCD has some distinct signs that set it apart, including:
Intrusive thoughts that feel out of character: Having disturbing, unwanted images or ideas about harming your baby, even though you have no intention of doing so
Compulsive behaviors: Engaging in repetitive actions to “neutralize” these thoughts, such as excessive cleaning, checking on the baby, or avoiding being alone with them
Extreme guilt and distress: Feeling ashamed or fearful about your thoughts, even though they don’t reflect your true feelings
Avoidance behaviors: Steering clear of certain activities, such as diaper changes or bathing, out of fear you might unintentionally hurt your baby
Reassurance-seeking: Constantly asking loved ones if they think you’re a good parent or if they believe you would ever harm your child
Physical symptoms of anxiety: Feeling on edge, having trouble sleeping, or experiencing nausea, headaches, a racing heart, or tension in your body
What causes postpartum OCD?
First things first: You didn’t cause this, you didn’t do anything wrong, and you’re not a bad parent. Postpartum OCD has nothing to do with who you are as a person — it’s the result of a perfect storm of biological, psychological, and environmental factors that can impact anyone.
Here’s what’s happening:
Hormonal upheaval: If pregnancy is a hormonal rollercoaster, the postpartum period is like getting off the ride and realizing the ground is still moving. After giving birth, levels of estrogen and progesterone plummet, which can trigger mood swings, anxiety, and—you guessed it—OCD symptoms.
At the same time, oxytocin levels surge to help with bonding and breastfeeding. Oxytocin is often called the “love hormone,” but it also plays a role in hyper-vigilance — which means your brain is always scanning for anything that could be a threat to your baby. (Fun times.) For some parents, that protective instinct gets cranked up way too high, leading to intrusive thoughts and compulsions.
Sleep deprivation: There’s tired, and then there’s new-parent tired. You’re sleeping in three-hour increments (if you’re lucky), probably skipping meals, and spending every waking moment taking care of a tiny human. And while exhaustion is expected, extreme sleep deprivation can make everything feel bigger, scarier, and more overwhelming.
Lack of sleep also affects the brain’s ability to regulate emotions and filter out unwanted thoughts. That means intrusive thoughts—those weird, unwanted flashes of worst-case scenarios—feel louder and more upsetting simply because your brain doesn’t have the energy to dismiss them.
Pre-existing anxiety, OCD, or perfectionism: If you’ve ever struggled with anxiety, OCD, or perfectionism before, postpartum OCD might hit a little harder. Parenthood comes with a lot of unknowns, and if you’re someone who thrives on control or certainty, this can feel terrifying.
Even if you’ve never had OCD before, a history of anxiety or trauma can set the stage for intrusive thoughts to latch on. And let’s be honest — parenting is the ultimate test of letting go. No amount of planning can prepare you for every twist and turn, and for some, that uncertainty can trigger obsessive thinking.
Past trauma or difficult childbirth: If your birth experience was traumatic, your brain might still be in high-alert mode, scanning for danger even when things are safe. Studies show that people with a history of trauma, loss, or medical complications are at a higher risk for postpartum mental health struggles, including OCD.
Postpartum OCD can also be a response to past experiences. If you’ve suffered a pregnancy loss or had difficulty conceiving, your brain may become hyper-focused on keeping this baby safe, leading to intrusive thoughts and compulsions.
The pressure to be the “perfect” parent: Society puts an insane amount of pressure on new parents to do everything “right”— from the way you feed your baby to how you get them to sleep through the night. Add social media into the mix, and suddenly it feels like everyone else is thriving, while you’re barely keeping it together.
This pressure can make intrusive thoughts even scarier. Instead of seeing them as meaningless (which is what they really are), you might take them as proof that you’re not cut out for parenthood. The reality is, most parents you know probably have weird, random, intrusive thoughts. The difference with postpartum OCD is that instead of brushing them off, your brain grabs onto them, obsesses over them, and starts trying to “fix” them.
How to treat postpartum OCD: 7 tips to help you cope
It’s important for you to know that you don’t have to live like this. It might not feel like it, but there are ways to stop the cycle of nonstop intrusive thoughts and feel better.
Still, you have to remember that recovering from postpartum OCD isn’t about getting rid of intrusive thoughts completely. (They’re very common, whether they’re postpartum or not!) But, you can stop them from having such a major impact on you. Here’s a few steps to get you started.
1. Stop fighting the thoughts
This one feels counterintuitive, but the more you try to push intrusive thoughts away, the stronger they get.
Instead of freaking out over intrusive thoughts, try to acknowledge them without reacting:
“Oh, look at that — there’s another scary thought.”
“My brain is just throwing out random fears again. Classic.”
“This is uncomfortable, but it’s not dangerous.”
Intrusive thoughts only have power when you believe they mean something. Once you stop treating them like urgent threats, they start losing their hold over you. Not sure where to start? Here are 20 affirmations for anxiety relief.
2. Challenge your compulsions
When intrusive thoughts strike, your brain tells you something is wrong, and you may feel compelled to fix it. Try not to. The more you give in to compulsions—whether it’s excessive checking, cleaning, avoiding, or reassurance-seeking—the more your brain believes these thoughts are real dangers.
Try this instead:
If you feel the urge to check on your baby every five minutes, take a beat before you do it. Then stretch that time to 10 minutes. Then 15. It’s hard, but you can do it.
If you’re avoiding bathtime because of a scary thought, try dipping just your baby’s toes in the water first — a tiny step toward reclaiming your confidence.
If you’re constantly asking your partner, “You don’t think I’d ever hurt the baby, right?” try reassuring yourself instead: “I know this is my anxiety talking. I don’t need outside validation.”
Breaking the cycle takes practice, but every time you resist a compulsion, you’re rewiring your brain to stop treating intrusive thoughts like emergencies.
3. Prioritize sleep (as much as you can)
Telling a new parent to “just get more sleep” is eyeroll-inducing, but sleep deprivation and OCD are a terrible combo. When your brain is running on empty, intrusive thoughts feel bigger, scarier, and harder to manage.
So, while you might not be getting eight uninterrupted hours anytime soon, but you can:
Take short naps whenever possible (even 20 minutes can help).
Trade off night shifts with your partner or a loved one if you can.
Try white noise, guided relaxation, or deep breathing before bed to help you get better sleep.
Lower the bar — the dishes and laundry can wait. Your mental health needs to come first.
Your brain is doing a lot right now, and sleep is one of the best ways to help it reset.
💙 You’d think the little sleep you get postpartum would be restful — but sometimes it’s just not. Sleepy Rhythm Meditation is exactly what you need to get back to sleep after a late-night feed.
4. Build your support system
Postpartum OCD thrives in isolation and secrecy. The more you keep your fears bottled up, the heavier they feel. Be honest about how you’re feeling with your partner, a family member, or a trusted friend. You don’t have to tell them every detail if you don’t want to — even just letting them know you’re struggling can be a huge relief.
Also, don’t be afraid to ask them for practical help. Let someone else hold the baby so you can take a nap, shower, or just breathe for a second. These moments can help you feel more grounded. Not sure how to ask for help? Here are seven tips that may make it easier.
And if you’d rather open up more anonymously, try joining a postpartum mental health group in person or online. Connecting with other parents who get it can help you feel better about what you’re going through.
💙 You’re going through a lot, and it’s okay to lean on the people you love. Kate Johnson’s Meaningful Practice for Meaningful Friendship series is a great tool to help you navigate relationships during this complicated time.
5. Try therapy
If postpartum OCD is making everyday life feel unbearable, know that you don’t have to figure it out alone. Therapy—especially cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and exposure and response prevention (ERP)—is one of the most effective treatments for OCD.
Here’s what that might look like:
CBT helps you reframe how you interpret intrusive thoughts so they don’t send you into a spiral of guilt or anxiety.
ERP gently exposes you to your fears (in a safe, controlled way) so your brain can learn that you don’t need compulsions or avoidance to stay safe.
A therapist who specializes in OCD or perinatal mental health can help you untangle the anxiety, challenge the guilt, and build coping strategies that actually work. If therapy feels out of reach right now, consider postpartum OCD support groups or online resources like the International OCD Foundation (IOCDF).
6. Consider medication
If your postpartum OCD is severe, and therapy or coping strategies aren’t enough on their own, medication can be a game-changer. Certain selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) have been shown to reduce OCD symptoms and help regulate anxious brain patterns.
If you’re worried about taking medication while breastfeeding, ask your doctor about your options. There’s no shame in needing extra support if you and your doctor agree it’s right for you.
7. Be kind to yourself
When something happens and you have no one to blame for it, it’s easy to turn on yourself. But please, don’t do that. What you’re going through is really hard, and postpartum OCD is not a reflection of your love, your ability, or your worth as a parent. It’s just an unfair trick of the mind, and you’re going to get through it.
In the meantime, practice self-compassion. If that doesn’t come easily to you, try these 10 tips. You deserve it.
6 ways to help someone with postpartum OCD
Watching a loved one struggle with postpartum OCD can be heartbreaking. You know they’re caught in a loop of fear, guilt, and stress, and all you want to do is reassure them that everything is going to be okay.
But here’s the tricky part — OCD feeds off reassurance. The more someone seeks it, the more their brain believes the intrusive thoughts are real dangers (and they’re not!).
So, how do you help without unintentionally reinforcing their anxiety? The key is to be a steady, nonjudgmental presence — someone who acknowledges their pain while gently encouraging them to develop healthy coping strategies.
1. Validate their experience without reinforcing the fear
When someone with postpartum OCD opens up about their intrusive thoughts, they’re probably feeling ashamed, terrified, and alone. The worst thing you can do is dismiss their fears by saying something like, “Don’t be crazy — of course you’d never hurt the baby” or “Just stop thinking things like that!” You might be trying to make them feel better, but statements like these can make matters worse.
Instead, validate their emotions without affirming the OCD’s message. Try saying:
“I know these thoughts are really scary, and that must be exhausting.”
“I can see how much you love and care for the baby. This must feel so overwhelming.”
“You’re not alone in this, and you don’t have to go through it by yourself.”
The goal is to acknowledge their pain without reinforcing their fears. Let them know their struggles are real, but their thoughts aren’t grounded in reality.
2. Avoid feeding the reassurance cycle
If your loved one asks you things like, “Do you think I would ever hurt the baby?” or, “Do you think I’m a bad person?” your first instinct will be to reassure them.
The problem is, this response only provides temporary relief. Soon, the anxiety will creep back in, and they’ll need to ask again. Over time, this strengthens the OCD cycle rather than breaking it.
Instead of giving repeated reassurances, try to help them build confidence in themselves. You can say:
“I know this is your anxiety talking. Deep down, what do you really think?”
“It’s okay to have thoughts you don’t like. We all have them, and they don’t define you.”
“I believe in you, and I know you’re working through this.”
It’s okay to be kind and supportive, but try not to engage in repetitive reassurance-seeking. Over time, helping them sit with uncertainty (rather than instantly soothing it) can be a huge step toward recovery.
3. Encourage them to seek professional help
Postpartum OCD is highly treatable, but it’s not something most people can overcome alone. If your loved one is having a tough time, encourage them to reach out to a therapist — especially one who specializes in OCD, perinatal mental health, or cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).
You can support them in this by helping them to find a therapist and offering to attend their first session with them. Sometimes, just knowing they’re not doing it alone can make taking that first step easier.
Also, make sure they know that getting help doesn’t mean they’re failing as a parent. Many people with postpartum OCD worry that admitting their intrusive thoughts will result in judgment or even intervention from authorities. In reality, trained mental health professionals understand that intrusive thoughts do not equal intent — they’re a symptom, not a reflection of who someone is.
If therapy feels out of reach, you can also look for support groups, online communities, or self-help resources that focus on postpartum OCD. Hearing from others who’ve been through it can be incredibly comforting.
4. Help with daily tasks so they can focus on healing
Postpartum OCD can be mentally and physically exhausting. Many parents struggling with it are already overwhelmed by the demands of newborn care, and the added stress of OCD can make even simple tasks feel impossible.
One of the most helpful things you can do is lighten their mental and physical load so they have more space to recover. Don’t ask them what they need — they might not even know. Just show up for them. This could mean:
Watching the baby for an hour so they can nap or shower
Preparing meals or bringing them snacks
Handling household chores they might be neglecting
Encouraging them to take short breaks, even if it’s just stepping outside for fresh air
No matter what you decide to do, small acts of kindness can make a huge difference in their day.
5. Be patient — it’s a process, not a quick fix
Recovery from postpartum OCD doesn’t happen overnight. Even with therapy and treatment, progress can be slow and nonlinear. Some days will be better than others, and relapses might happen. That doesn’t mean they’re not improving, it just means their brain is still learning new patterns.
Try to be patient and understanding during the ups and downs. Celebrate the small victories, whether it’s resisting a compulsion, challenging a thought, or simply getting through a tough day. Remind them that healing is possible, and you’re here for them every step of the way.
6. Remind them they’re a good parent, even when they don’t believe it
One of the most painful parts of postpartum OCD is the guilt and self-doubt that comes with it. Many parents battling OCD truly believe they are unfit, broken, or failing their child.
Ironically, the fact that they are struggling with these thoughts means they care deeply about being a good parent.
So remind them, often and sincerely:
“You are a good parent.”
“Your baby is so lucky to have you.”
“You’re doing an amazing job, even on the hard days.”
They might not believe it right away, but hearing those words—especially from someone they trust—can be incredibly powerful.
Postpartum OCD FAQs
What is the difference between OCD and postpartum OCD?
OCD is a mental health condition involving intrusive thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors (compulsions) to reduce anxiety, and postpartum OCD (pOCD) is a subtype of that. Postpartum OCD presents after childbirth, and the obsessions are centered on the baby’s safety.
While both conditions follow the same obsessive-compulsive cycle, pOCD—which is fueled by hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, and the intense responsibility of new parenthood—often causes extreme guilt because the thoughts feel so gross and out of character.
Is postpartum OCD common?
Yes. Numbers vary widely due to misdiagnosis and underreporting, but it’s thought that about 2-24% of new parents experience postpartum OCD. Many parents have intrusive thoughts about their baby, but in pOCD, these thoughts stick, causing distress and compulsive behaviors.
Because it’s not widely discussed, many suffer in silence, afraid to seek help. But postpartum OCD is a recognized condition, and with treatment, it can improve significantly.
Is postpartum OCD related to postpartum depression?
While postpartum OCD and postpartum depression (PPD) can occur together, they are different conditions. PPD is characterized by persistent sadness, exhaustion, and difficulty bonding with the baby, while pOCD involves high anxiety, obsessive fears, and compulsions.
Someone with PPD may feel emotionally detached, whereas someone with pOCD is often hyper-focused on their baby’s safety. If you’re experiencing both, you’re not alone — both are treatable, and help is available.
How long does postpartum OCD typically last?
Without treatment, postpartum OCD can persist for months or even years, sometimes evolving into chronic OCD. However, with therapy, medication (if needed), and self-care, many parents start to feel relief within weeks to months. The sooner you get support, the sooner you can break free from the obsessive thought cycle.
Can postpartum OCD affect fathers or non-birthing parents?
Yes! While hormonal changes contribute to pOCD in birthing parents, any new parent—fathers, adoptive parents, partners—can experience it due to the stress, responsibility, and life transition of parenthood.
Intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and compulsions aren’t exclusive to mothers, and non-birthing parents often feel even more stigma around seeking help too. If you’re struggling, know that postpartum OCD does not discriminate, and you deserve support too.
Calm your mind. Change your life.
Mental health is hard. Getting support doesn't have to be. The Calm app puts the tools to feel better in your back pocket, with personalized content to manage stress and anxiety, get better sleep, and feel more present in your life.
Images: Getty
