How Kohlberg's theory of moral development can guide your choices

Clinically reviewed by Dr. Chris Mosunic, PhD, RD, CDCES, MBA

Every choice you make is guided by your "moral compass" which, according to Kohlberg's theory of moral development, shapes up over time. Here's what you need to know.

Every day, we face choices that test our sense of right and wrong. Maybe your barista gave you too much change with your coffee, you saw your boss treating your coworker unfairly at work, or you overheard mean gossip that made your stomach sink.

Deciding how to respond to these types of scenarios can be complicated, and in each case, you’ll end up relying on your values and beliefs. But where does our moral compass come from, and how does it develop? 

Obviously it’s complicated, but Kohlberg’s theory of moral development — a philosophy for understanding how we understand moral reasoning — can help you reflect on your own personal growth, and find ways to strengthen your sense of right and wrong.

 

What is Kohlberg’s theory of moral development?

Psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg believed that our sense of morality—what we believe is right or wrong—grows in stages as we get older and gain life experience. Kohlberg’s theory of moral development suggests that moral thinking begins with a focus on personal consequences (like a child following rules to avoid punishment) and gradually develops into higher-level thinking for adults, who may weigh their personal values against societal expectations or principles such as justice and equality. (Of course, this looks different for everyone.)

Still, getting older doesn’t mean that someone has reached a higher stage, especially if they’ve never thought deeply about mortality. People can remain in earlier stages well into adulthood.

Kohlberg’s theory says that when we reflect on decisions, consider their impact on others, and practice empathy, we can learn to be more thoughtful and ethical in our approach to the world.

 

What are the 6 stages of moral development according to Kohlberg?

Kohlberg’s theory of moral development is broken down into stages and levels. Each stage represents a different way of thinking about right and wrong. 

As you move through these stages during your life, your moral reasoning becomes more complex, shifting from self-interest to a broader consideration of fairness.

Level 1: Preconventional morality

Mostly seen in children, people at this level make moral decisions based on how their actions will directly affect them.

Stage 1: At this stage, you make decisions to avoid punishment. Imagine a kid making their bed to avoid losing dessert, or finishing their homework to avoid getting a bad grade.

Stage 2: When you’re making a decision, you may ask yourself, “What's in it for me?” A person might only do something kind when they believe they’ll get an equal reward. Like, sweeping the floor so they can earn some allowance. 

Level 2: Conventional level

At the conventional level, you may begin to factor in the expectations of society, family, or peers.

Stage 3: People make decisions to be seen as “good” by others. They’re often guided by the desire to maintain relationships and receive approval. A person might help a friend with a problem so they can keep the friendship in good standing, or build connection.

Stage 4: People believe rules and laws are necessary for social stability, so listening to authority figures is central at this stage. Someone might wait to cross the street on a green light so they don’t get a ticket for jaywalking.

Level 3: Postconventional or principled level

Not everyone reaches this level, but if you do, you’ll begin to recognize that laws and rules aren’t always perfect. You’ll also consider universal ethical principles like justice and equality. 

Stage 5: You’ll begin to see laws as social contracts that can be changed when necessary to benefit the greater good. People recognize that individual rights may sometimes take precedence over specific laws. A shift in marriage equality laws in the last decade shows an example of a principle that was changed to allow for more inclusion

Stage 6: You may begin to follow your own internalized principles, based on ideas of justice, equality, and human rights — even if they conflict with laws or societal norms. Think about social justice advocates who questioned the system like Rosa Parks.

 

Applications of Kohlberg’s theory IRL

These stages are applicable at work, at home, and everywhere else. Here are a few examples of how you can use Kohlberg’s theory in real life:

  • Parenting: Knowing that younger children tend to make decisions based on avoiding punishment (stage 1) or gaining rewards (stage 2) can help parents guide them toward more complex thinking as they grow.

  • Workplace: Understanding that some colleagues may focus on following rules (stage 4), while others may base their decisions on what’s fair for everyone (stage 5) can boost collaboration.

  • Relationships: Recognizing that people grow through different moral stages can encourage empathy and patience when others don’t see things the same way you do.

 

4 problems with Kohlberg’s theory of moral development

While Kohlberg’s theory has been influential, some argue it doesn’t account for all the factors shaping moral development. Others feel it oversimplifies how we really make decisions in life.

  1. Cultural bias: Kohlberg’s theory was based on studies conducted in Western cultures, so it might not apply equally to other societies, where values may differ.

  2. Gender bias: Psychologist Carol Gilligan argued that Kohlberg’s theory reflects a male-centric view of morality, focusing too much on justice and not enough on care or relationships, which she believed were more important in female moral reasoning.

  3. Overemphasis on reasoning: Some critics point out that Kohlberg’s theory focuses heavily on how people think about moral problems, rather than how they actually behave in real-life situations.

  4. Stages aren’t always fixed: Research shows that people may not always progress through the stages in a fixed order. Some adults might remain at earlier stages, and some people may switch between stages depending on the situation.

 

How mindfulness can help you build your own sense of morality

Mindfulness is a practice that increases your awareness of thoughts, emotions, and reactions in the present moment. By focusing on your inner experiences without judgment, you can better understand yourself and your approach to ethical decisions. This self-awareness can help support your growth.

Self-awareness

Because mindfulness can enhance awareness of your thoughts, feelings, and actions, it can also help you pause to consider whether your reactions align with your values. Instead of making snap decisions based on habit or emotion, mindfulness allows you to take a beat and consider the bigger picture.

Consider this: When you feel pressured to go along with something, you might stop to ask yourself, “Does this align with my beliefs?” This reflection can help you progress through Kohlberg’s stages of moral development, as it encourages deeper thinking about your actions rather than just following the crowd or acting on impulse.

Explore these 10 mindfulness questions to help you check in with yourself

Empathy

By practicing mindfulness, you can become more in tune with the emotions and needs of those around you. This empathy can enable you to consider the impact of your actions, and make decisions that reflect their feelings and wellbeing.

Consider this: When someone wrongs you, your immediate reaction might be anger or frustration. But, mindfulness can help you pause and consider the other person’s perspective: They may have acted out of stress or fear, or not realized what they were doing. Understanding their viewpoint can help you respond with compassion and fairness, and reach higher stages of Kohlberg’s theory.

💙 Check out our session on Empathy from our Relationship with Others series.

Emotional regulation

Anger, fear, or frustration can make it difficult to think clearly and act according to our values. Mindfulness can help you recognize and manage these emotions before they take over, so you can respond to challenging situations with greater clarity.

Consider this: In a heated argument, you might feel tempted to say something hurtful. But if you're practicing mindfulness, you can recognize feelings of anger without reacting immediately. Instead of lashing out, you can take a breath and respond more thoughtfully — maybe by listening more closely or expressing your feelings respectfully. This can help you stay true to your principles, even in stressful situations.

💙 One way to help regulate your emotions is to journal. Explore our Feelings Wheel & Feelings Journal to get started. 

Reflecting on your values

Mindfulness encourages you to reflect on your values and their influence on your decisions. This can help clarify what you stand for and whether your actions align with what matters most to you.

Consider this: If you ask yourself, “Was that really the best choice for my values?” you may be able to develop a clearer moral sense based on thoughtful consideration rather than societal expectations or external pressures.

Here are 20 questions to help you self-reflect.

Reducing judgment

By practicing mindfulness, you learn to observe your thoughts and feelings without labeling them as “good” or “bad.” This can be especially useful when you’re facing complex moral decisions with no clear right or wrong answer. Mindfulness can encourage curiosity and allow you to see different perspectives before rushing to judge.

Consider this: You’re trying to resolve a conflict at work. Mindfulness can help you step back and think more openly about both sides of the situation. This can help you find fair solutions that consider everyone involved.

💙 Explore our meditation on Non-Judgement to help you soften your judgmental tendencies. 

 

Kohlberg’s theory of moral development FAQs

What is the difference between Piaget's and Kohlberg's theories of moral development?

Psychologist Jean Piaget and Kohlberg both studied moral development, but their approaches were different. 

Piaget focused on children's cognitive development — particularly their understanding of moral concepts like fairness and justice. He believed kids’ moral thinking evolves through two stages: a younger stage where rules are seen as fixed, and an older stage where they recognize that rules can change based on fairness and agreement. 

Kohlberg built on Piaget's ideas, developing his detailed six-stage theory of moral development that extends into adulthood. While Piaget explained how children's moral thinking shifts, Kohlberg examined how people of all ages reason about moral dilemmas. He investigated how people move from considering personal consequences to thinking about broader principles like justice and human rights. 

How does Kohlberg's theory explain adult moral development?

Kohlberg’s theory extends beyond childhood and adolescence into adulthood, demonstrating that moral development can be a lifelong journey. 

Many adults find their moral development stalls at the conventional level, making decisions based on societal rules (stage 4) or the desire to be perceived as good by others (stage 3). However, life experiences—such as ethical dilemmas, involvement in social justice causes, or self-reflection—can help some progress to the postconventional level. At this stage, people begin to base their decisions on universal values like justice, fairness, and human rights (stage 5), or internal ethical principles regardless of societal norms (stage 6).

According to Kohlberg, there’s still potential for moral development and deeper ethical reasoning in adulthood.

What are some examples of moral dilemmas used to test Kohlberg's theory?

Kohlberg’s theory uses hypothetical scenarios known as “moral dilemmas” to explore how people approach ethical problems. One well-known example is the “Heinz dilemma,” where Heinz’s wife is seriously ill and needs a life-saving drug he can’t afford. Should Heinz steal it, or follow the law, even if it means his wife might die?

How someone answers this question—and why—can reveal their stage of moral development. Someone at earlier stages may say Heinz shouldn’t steal because of the punishment (stage 1) or legality (stage 4). But someone at higher stages might argue that saving a life is more important (stage 5). 

Other dilemmas used by Kohlberg involve questions about lying, cheating, or breaking rules for a greater good. They help examine how people balance personal values, societal norms, and the needs of others.

How can educators use Kohlberg's theory in the classroom?

Teachers can use Kohlberg’s theory in an age-appropriate way to encourage debates that help students develop a deeper sense of morality and ethical thinking — like whether it’s ever okay to break a rule. This can prompt students to think critically about their values and reasoning, and encourages them to consider why rules exist and whether they’re always fair.

When students are challenged to reflect on how they’d respond to difficult moral dilemmas, they can look beyond simply following rules and toward understanding deeper ethical principles like justice and equality. This can help them develop advanced moral reasoning.


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