“Open When”: 3 Highlights from Dr. Julie Smith & Mel Mah’s “Calm Conversation”
Mel Mah and Dr. Julie Smith discuss practical advice for anyone feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or uncertain, providing a roadmap to a more resilient, self-compassionate life.
Inside our filled-to-the-brim daily schedules, emotional well-being can often feel like an elusive (or even impossible) goal — especially when life throws unexpected curveballs our way. That’s where Dr. Julie Smith’s new book Open When: A Companion for Life’s Twists & Turns comes in.
Rather than offering a one-size-fits-all approach, Open When serves as a “break-in-case-of-emergency” guide, providing practical, real-time tools to help you navigate life's toughest moments. Whether you're facing a difficult relationship, struggling with self-doubt, or feeling overwhelmed by your emotions, Dr. Julie's book empowers you to tap into your own inner resources and meet these challenges with self-compassion, emotional intelligence, and resilience.
In this conversation with Mel Mah, Dr. Julie dives into a few key lessons from Open When, offering guidance on everything from parenting and personal growth to embracing vulnerability and building emotional strength. From managing negative self-talk to strengthen your relationships, Dr. Julie’s practical wisdom provides clear, actionable strategies for dealing with life's ups and downs — right when you need them most.
Watch the full conversation
Here are 3 key takeaways from their conversation
1. Parenting: teaching through vulnerability
"When we show our kids that we’re human, that we make mistakes too, it opens up space for them to be human as well." — Dr. Julie Smith
Parenting is rarely straightforward, but Dr. Julie emphasizes that vulnerability is key to creating deeper, more empathetic connections with our children. Rather than striving for perfection, she encourages parents to embrace their own imperfections — whether that’s owning up to mistakes or explaining difficult decisions.
Because vulnerability teaches children that it’s okay to feel emotions and talk about them openly. By being emotionally open, parents model empathy and emotional intelligence, laying the foundation for healthier relationships and emotional growth.
2. The inner critic: transforming bully into coach
"The inner critic doesn’t have to be the enemy. It can be a tool to motivate us, but it must be in the service of growth, not shame." — Dr. Julie Smith
Many of us are driven by an inner voice that criticizes and pushes us to be better. Dr. Julie challenges us to reframe that voice — not as a source of self-punishment, but as a tool for growth. Rather than letting the inner critic tear us down, she suggests transforming it into a supportive "coach" that motivates us to learn and improve.
This shift is key to overcoming perfectionism and building a healthier relationship with ourselves. Instead of succumbing to judgment or shame, Dr. Julie teaches us to view the inner critic as a constructive voice that guides us toward growth.
3. Confidence: a muscle that grows through practice
"Confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build through consistent practice, embracing discomfort, and seeing failure as part of the journey." — Dr. Julie Smith
Many of us view confidence as an innate trait — something you either have or you don’t. Dr. Julie challenges this idea, explaining that confidence is more like a muscle that grows through consistent practice and exposure. By stepping outside our comfort zones, making mistakes, and facing discomfort, we build the resilience and self-assurance that fuel true confidence over time.
Confidence grows with each experience, whether a success or a failure, so Dr. Julie encourages us to embrace vulnerability and see every challenge as an opportunity to strengthen our self-confidence.
What to expect from Dr. Julie’s Open When and the Calm Conversation
In Open When, Dr. Julie takes readers on a practical journey through life’s toughest emotional moments, offering not just advice, but real tools to handle our feelings, build resilience, and grow in our relationships.
In her conversation with Mel Mah, she explores themes from parenting and managing the inner critic to cultivating self-compassion and confidence. The key takeaways from this conversation center on the power of vulnerability, reframing our relationship with negative emotions, and recognizing that confidence isn’t a fixed trait — it’s something that can be developed.
If you’re looking for actionable tips, a shift in perspective, or a dose of emotional wisdom, Dr. Julie’s insights conversation, Calm content, and her bestselling books will guide you toward a healthier, more balanced emotional life.
Dr. Julie Smith resources
Dr. Julie Smith has released four transformative mental health programs with Calm & Calm Health. She is a clinical psychologist and bestselling author of Open When: A Companion for Life's Twists & Turns and Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?
💙 Overcome Stress & Anxiety: Discover 11 tools developed by clinical psychologist, author, and online educator Dr. Julie Smith for confronting and overcoming acute anxiety and chronic stress.
💙 Building Habits that Stick: Whether you’re starting fresh or getting back on track, make lasting changes with simple tools rooted in clinical psychology.
💙 Anxiety Survival Guide (Calm Health): Dr. Julie has spent years helping people with anxiety. Her program will give you a better understanding of what anxiety is, help improve your relationship with it, and empower you with coping skills
💙 Preparing for Therapy (Calm Health): Whether you’re preparing for your first therapy appointment, or you’re returning for support, this program provides insights & tips – while also busting myths & stigmas – around mental health care.
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